You’d think having an extra day off would be a god send but in all honesty it’s a bit of a ball ache. This weekend, Landan Taan will swell to a beachball sized glut of party tourists keen to get their third dose of fun for the year (the other two times being Easter weekend and new years eve). You can expect the clubs, streets and parks to be packed with an assault of people forcibly trying to have fun this weekend. If you’re not too much of an idiot to spend £50+ on a bunch of half assed trance and yesteryear prog DJs playing to a crowd of baying halfwits non the wiser they’ve been fleeced, then I guess these could be a few so called suggestions for the weekend…

LED Festival – Victoria Park (Tickets)

The alternative to paying over the odds for standing in a Clapham park full of idiots is to pay nearly over the odds to stand in a park full of different idiots who weren’t quick enough to shell out for SW4 tickets before it sold out. If the festival hasn’t imploded through poor ticket sales and artist cancellations it might not be such a loss to attend with the main draw being Leftfield, who have dusted off the kit since the Guinness royalties have run dry. You’ll also be able to see Alison Goldfrapp tottering around on stage like Florence and The Machine’s grandma, and if you’re lucky Aphex Twin might play some nonsense. Unsurprisingly tickets are still going for this one.

Carl Craig at Fabric (Tickets)

In terms of evening line ups I guess you can’t really do any better than fabric. They’ve got their typical techno carry on consisting of one part Detroit (Carl Craig), two parts Berlin (Sebo K & Ben Klock) and a token UK techno head to make your balls go up inside yourself (Ben Sims). It’s a reasonable choice if you haven’t already spent half your waking weekend moments there this month.

Superfreq at Paramount (Tickets)

Across town at Centre Point, Mr C and friends are back at Paramount with their Superfreq brand. They’ve somehow commandeered another floor for their ingeniously named disco sister Superdiscofreq. DJ Three headlines the main room with the “not so evil in his old age” Eddie Richards, whilst DJ Garth and James Priestly will be playing up to the new spat of disco fashionistas. If past Superfreqs are a trend to go by, this one will be the best superfreq ever to date as boldly claimed by Mr C every month.

Dollop at The CAMP (Tickets)

If a night dancing with a bunch of geriatrics in a tower doesn’t sound that great, you can go to the other end of the spectrum and dance with some of the unwashed youth in a basement. Dollop are down from Nottingham for a London jolly at The CAMP. They’ve brought in the Parisian turned Dalstonian Ivan Smagghe to headline. Also on the bill is some bloke from Turbo (Thomas Von Party), that guy who plays at Bugged Out (Matt Walsh) and Nathan G Wilkins who for some reason reminds me of a presidential assassinator. Expect scruffy hair cuts, drain pipe jeans and a lot of garish noisy electronic sounds.

Carnival at Notting Hill

On to Sunday. For the day time you might as well be herded around the streets of Notting Hill whilst running the risk of being caught in the middle of some yoot gang warfare or getting poisoned by some chancer selling what was supposed to be curried goat out the back of his car. If you get there early enough and the police haven’t cordoned off the area you might be lucky to catch some chap (Norman Jay) play cheesey records off the top of a double decker bus. But hey its all free so you can’t complain about this shit.

Secretsundaze at Rich Mix (GList Requests – info@secretsundaze.net)

You might not have heard, because its secret, but Secretsundaze are at the Rich Mix loft. Daniel Bell heads up the main room with Tevo Howard, whilst Jacques Renault makes room 2 all disco glam. If you can get past the fashion police on the front door (in this case the face of authority is a guy with an achingly ironic styled tache) you might enjoy a nice dance inside. Just make sure your shorts are rolled up high enough on your deck shoes and denim shorts combo.

Eastern Electrics at Union Street Car Park (Tickets)

Evening wise Eastern Electrics is doing their predictable shindig at the once secret, but now standard affair Union Street Car Park. Their line up I must admit is pretty balanced. Fehlmann, Wruhme and Mayer fly in for Kompakt, whilst Von Stroke and Martin get fidgety in another arch, and to round things off Resident Advisor have got Joy Orbison, Scuba and Harri & Domenic, all of which they’ve brain washed you to think they’re good through their podcasts. The 10 early bird tickets and 5 saver tickets have sold out, so all you mugs left are gonna have to buy the standard price tickets at 20 quid a pop. Unfortunately your young person railcard doesn’t work on these tickets.

Lo*Kee at Cruffix Lane (Tickets)

Another special one for Sunday is Lo*Kee. For one night only they’ve scrapped their exclusively closed members list and open their doors to tom, dick and harry. This will give the riff raff a chance to really see what goes down at Lo*Kee – basically a bunch of “cool” kids that haven’t been to sleep for a few days rolling around to whatever DJs that haven’t been to sleep either. However on Sunday they’ve got a bunch of Cadenza folk over and they’re going to make a proper night of it, so I guess it’s not quite as Lo*Kee as the name suggests.

I could go on about the weekend… But you might as well read all about it at RA.. They’ll probably be a bit more cheery too with the extensive DJ biogs and promises of amazing parties. I’ll be at home having a good moan about SW4 thanks. Have a good weekend!

Update – Check out the earPIPE Sonar Disco Map Here.

This weekend Barcelona becomes the centre of attention as Sonar festival rolls into town. The festival itself is a jam packed 3 days and 2 nights of music and art featuring the likes of Plastikman, The Chemical Brothers and Roxy Music. However its not just the festival that garners all the attention, as for the same weekend Barcelona turns into a thriving party city with what are now known as the Off Sonar parties. This year we’re spoilt for choice in terms of party venues. We’ve got parties on beaches, on rooftops, on terraces, on boats and at secret villas. There’s even a few parties happening in them there nightclubs. There’s a lot to pick from so here’s what we think is looking pretty hot for the weekend.

Wednesday

Ovum at Boulevard Culture Club (Tickets)

If you’re arriving in the city before the festival starts, then you can start your sleepless campaign from Wednesday night. Josh Wink takes over Boulevard Culture Club with friends Shlomi Aber, David Squaillace and Luca Bacchetti from his Ovum record label. The clubs conveniently located on La Ramblas, so there’s no hassle in getting there.

Warehoused  at Mephistos (Tickets)

Warehoused is a new night for Off Sonar and it opens at Mephistos, a heavy metal club in Barcelona. So i’m not sure what the venue has to offer, but the line up looks pretty solid with Konrad Black and Stimming heading the bill. Not bad to warm things up for Wednesday night.

Thursday

RA by Day at Hotel Diagonal (info)

RA host one of the parties of the weekend. They’ll be getting things into motion with their Thursday daytime party at the beautiful Hotel Diagonal rooftop pool. A minor distraction from the views will be the stunning lineup they’ve got planned – Michael Mayer, Steve Bug, Jesse Rose and Eric Duncan from Rub n Tug!! All for free!! But before you dust off you deck shoes and rolled up denim cut offs, entry to the party is by invite only. So you either need to know someone who knows someone, or you might have been one of the lucky 50 that won tickets.

Desolat Experience at Ghoa Beach Club (Tickets)

Sub Club at BeCool (Tickets)

Moon Harbour at Discotechque Club (Tickets)

Moon Harbour will be celebrating ten years with its sister label Cargo at the imaginatively named Discotheque Club. Matthias Tanzmann, Martinez, Boris Werner and Ekkohaus will be playing the labels’ blend of bumpy techno and house.

Friday

Watergate and Beatport Secret Villa Party (info)

Hot Natured at W Barcelona Hotel (info)

BPitch Beach Party at Playa de El Prat (info)

Cocoon at Ghoa Beach Club (Tickets)

Kompakt at Nitsa (info)

Kompakt have a pretty tasty party at Nitsa. You’ll be able to catch Michael Mayer, if you weren’t invited to the RA party, as well as Superpitcher, Gui Boratto and DJ Koze. That’s a huge lineup to celebrate 10 years of Off Sonar parties.

Circus Company at Oshum (info)

Saturday

Mobilee Rooftop Party at Hotel Diagonal (info)

BPitch Control Boat Party (Tickets)

Cadenza at Ghoa Beach Club (Tickets)

Crosstown Rebels at Oshum (info)

If you’re still alive then Secretsundaze will be taking up its traditional position at La Terrazza. They’ll be out in the picnic area from 5pm and then in the usual club from midnight. For music, they’ve got the cream of their DJ agency from Patrice Scott, The Mole, Trus’me, Ethyl, Flori and of course the two residents Jamie and Giles. Great club, great tunes, always a must on the Sonar weekend.

Minus Beach Party at Playa de El Prat (info)

If you fancy something with a rougher edge, then Minus will be for you. They’re throwing their beach party at Chiringuito Calamar out by the airport and have got everyone off the label to get involved, from Marco Carola, Troy Pierce and Heartthrob to Ambivalent, Fabrizio Maurizi and Hobo. They also say they’ve got some special guests, which means its highly likely the two Minus names not on the line-up but are playing at Sonar will probably turn up for a few tunes!

Playkula & Wilde Boat Party (Tickets)

Two of Berlin’s biggest DJ agencies join forces to set sail for the high seas. Tiefschwarz, MANDY, Pig & Dan, Thomas Schumacher, Matt Tolfrey, Heidi and INXEC will be entertaining a packed catamaran of ravers finding their sea legs after a weekend of fun. Let’s hope the seas aren’t too rough.

A weekend bookended by bank holidays, don’t you just love Easter. Jesus died so we could rave for four days with out feeling guilty about work. I’m pretty sure that’s what it said in the bible. Plenty of stuff on so I won’t ramble on in this blasphemous theme.

Thursday

Secretsundaze @ Stamford Works (Buy Tickets)

Ooo its nearly time for Secretsundaze to emerge from its winter cocoon and head back out into the great outdoors. I cannie wait. But just to wet your whistle they’re throwing a Bank Holiday warehouse party this Thursday. I remember reading somewhere that its at the great little warehouse called the Stamford Works in Dalston where the recent DDD birthday took place. Its round the back of the Jazz Bar and Kingsland Road station. However I can’t find where I read that, so the official word is its in Dalston and yet to be announced. For the line-up they’ve got a veteran of the New York scene Morgan Geist of Metro Area fame, whilst in support they have new comer Nina Kraviz who’s found breaking fame on Radioslave’s Rekids. James and Giles complete the main room bill and their friends Electric Minds host the back room. A nice warm up for the weekend ahead.

Horse Meat Disco Bloodbath @ Hewett Street Car Park

The two dominant disco forces in London collide at Shoreditch’s Hewett Street Car Park this Thursday. You’d expect the universe to implode with forces of such magnitude, but instead it’s managed to fly over New York’s Tim Sweeney, who’s dulcet tones introduce the now globally famous Beats in Space radio show. He will be joined on his rare UK appearance by all the residents from both of London’s titan disco nights. There’s a few tickets left at Phonica, Dalston Superstore and The Eagle, get em quick!

Bedrock @ matter (Buy Tickets)

A bank holiday weekend wouldn’t be one without ol’ Diggers throwing a Bedrock party. Matter seems to be the new London home for Bedrock parties after years spent at Heaven. As well as Diggers headlining, the legendary Danny Howells is on back up duties, whilst Christian Smith and Marco Bailey give room 2 a techno workout. It’s kind of a retro classic line up that doesn’t grow old, these guys know their music and they know how to mix.

Shake It! @ Great Suffolk Street Car Park (Buy Tickets)

I was in two minds whether to recommend this. Carl Cox is a legend, but his recent sets have been short of desirable in an underground sense. However, his legions of fans that span his lengthy career will be out in force which will mean a great crowd for the ol’ Coxy. If you want something fun and accessible for friends and family then this ain’t a bad shout.

Greg Wilson  @ The Horatia

I still haven’t got myself to the Horatia yet, but they have been consistently putting on fun DJs for free. This Thursday Greg Wilson is the bill armed with a tape deck and a few decades worth of music. Clean Cheap fun!

Friday

Shoplifter @ The Horse and Groom (Buy Tickets)

After the glitz and glamour of the old guard doing their thing on Thursday, Friday seems like quite a subtle affair. However there is no reason to hold back. Derren Smart’s Shoplifter has upped sticks and moved over to The Horse and Groom. Chris Sullivan, Rock Steady and Josif join Craig Richards and Derren Smart in their new home. Free before 11pm, then only £4 after that! Bargain.

Holic @ East Village (Buy Tickets)

East Village aren’t doing things by half on Friday. They’ve got a special 12 hour party starting from 5pm right through till 5am Saturday morning. The legendary house producer DJ Pierre will be ushering you through the half day party, with support from the equally talented Argy, whilst upstairs its all discotastic with Pete Herbet and the Disco Deviance crew.

Transition @ Visions Video Bar (Info)

New night Transitions looks a bit alright too. They start things off at the ironically rubbish but brilliant Visions Video Bar in Dalston. Headlining is Wbeeza from South London. He’s been getting good coverage on Third Ear as well as joining the new Secretsundaze roster of DJs. Big things are happening for this kid. Also on the bill is Sud Electronic’s Lakuti and Runsounds Chris Box. If you put yourself on the roll call at RA its only £3 in.

Lobster @ The Shacklewell Arms

New friends Lobster begin their voyage of throwing parties this Friday. They’re beginning life at The Shacklewell Arms in Dalston. This raw and gritty pub come club will play host to Tommy Four Seven who’s had much success on CLR. The rest of the bill is made up of fresh Lobster – resident DJs David Russell, Anton & George and Ed Worboys. Its free before 11pm and then only a fiver after that… Hope it goes well guys.

Saturday

Cocoon @ matter (Buy Tickets)

The big one for Saturday night is undisputedly Cocoon at matter. Pappa Sven continues his residency at the London superclub. If that’s not enough for you Loco Dice is on hand to make you sweat a bit more. That’s it. Sven and Dice all night in room 1.  I don’t really need to say much else.

Prologue @ East Village

Prologue return to East Village once again with another understated but quality line-up. Secretsundaze’s James Priestley headlines with Jozif who’s found recent success on Wolf and Lamb. They’ll be rocking the basement with long time resident Paul Louth, whilst upstairs, DDD’s Simon Morell will be working things with the Stafford Brothers. Not a bad little party in the heart of Old Street/Shoreditch on a Saturday night if you ask me.

Sunday

Mulletover 6^th Birthday @ Great Suffolk Street Car Park (Buy Tickets)

Sunday is the big one and top of the picks is the Mulletover 6^th Birthday. They’re back at the Great Suffolk Street car park with the quirky and hilarious DOP headlining with their brilliant live set alongside a quality British line up of Will Saul, Matt Tolfrey and Geddes. Resident Advisor are running things in room 2 with the incredibly deep Levon Vincent and the bright melodic Floating Points. Tayo is pushing his new venture Lean Left in room 3, where he celebrates all things 4/4. He’s on the bill with Get Physical’s Heidi and Tayo’s buddy Frank Tope. The theme is silver, so get yourselves wrapped in tin foil and be careful of stray lasers being reflected off other people. Don’t forget we’ve also got our competition to win two free tickets, a bday DVD and four free drinks. Enter Here!

Product 5^th Birthday @ The Doors (Buy Tickets)

Product celebrates half a decade which has seen them venture from Nottingham to London via Brighton and Hungry. They’ve landed at little known basement club Doors near Old Street station. This great little space will have its foundations shaken by Spain’s Tim Xavier. Original Product ressie Makai will be in support along with Zade Cross, Amaus, Chris Jones and yours truly – Chris Wan. I’ll be playing with only one leg, which is worth the door fee alone.

Wet Yourself @ Fabric (Buy Tickets)

You can’t really talk about a London weekend without mentioning Fabric these days. Sunday see’s Wet Yourself expand to all three rooms. The room we’re most interested in though is room 2. Marcel Dettmann and Ben Klock will be bringing a slice of Berghain to the hallowed halls of Fabric. YES!

Fuse @ 93 Feet East

93 Feet East is going to be rammed this Sunday, as Fuse have put together a great little party for you daytime rave lovers. Pokerflat’s Guido Schneider will be joined by Get Physical’s Einzelkind, and Murmurs/Viva’s Bearweasel. A lot of name dropping there, but all good DJs in their own right. However you better get down there early as the tickets flew out  for this one in days. There’s 50 left on the door.

So there it is, my lengthy Easter weekend planner for you. Happy Easter!

Red bull Music Academy at South Bank Centre (Buy Tickets)

This weekend sees the start of the Red Bull Music Academy which is taking place over the coming weeks in London. The academy brings together prospective musical talent from across the world to work and share ideas with help from established and successful music industry types. In conjunction with the academy, Red Bull have a series of events lined up for the general public. This Friday sees Red Bull team up with Resident Advisor at the stunning Royal Festival Hall in the South Bank Centre for a head on collision of experimental electronica, Jazz and techno. There are two acts in particular that have us foaming at the mouth. We have a showcase from SHAPE, a collaboration between Detroit heavy weight Carl Craig, the classically trained pianist and Innerzone Orchestra member Francesco Tristano and minimal dub techno innovator Moritz Von Oswald of Basic Channel/Maurizio fame. The other act will be another massive collaboration between Innervision’s Henrik Schwarz and Nordic Jazz sensation Bugge Wesseltoft. Their recent showing at Giles Peterson’s Ronnie Scotts takeover was supposedly incredible, so it will be a privilege to see these too jamming out in the distinguished Royal Festival Hall. Don’t expect danceable 4/4 beats, this is going to be a proper sit down affair. There are still some tickets available at TICKETWEB.

Egyptian Lover at The Big Chill

Probably a little less serious for a Friday night will be a live show from 80s rap legend Egyptian Lover. His early rap records of ballsy 909 beats and distinctly electronic synths helped pave the way for the hip hop movement in the 80s. He’s even had a bit of a comeback after his Egypt track was sampled/covered by Jamie Jones on his recent track Galactic Space Bar. Fun beats and straight up classic 80s rap. What’s not to love?

Musiq Concrete 2D at The Lightbox (Buy Tickets)

Saturday brings us a selection of equally solid nights. Down south at Vauxhalls Lightbox, we see Musiq Concrete return for their second night with a well rounded lineup. The dazzling lights of the Light Box will play host to Get Physical’s Thomas Schumacher who’s techy sound will give London its very own slice of pseudo Berlin Watergate. Whilst Simon Baker and Alex Cellar will provide some worthy London based support. In room two Brighton’s Cagedbaby and acid house legend Justin Robertson will show us another side to electronic dance music. Also if you print out this flyer you get a free drink!

Phonica at T-Bar

T-Bar are now running a new freemium business model. No more are the fall back nights where if all things failed you could always end there for a relatively cheap one. They’ve gone and started asking for some money on the door now. However to back up the asking they’ve bumped up the quality. This Saturday the record selling folks from Phonica have brought over Sascha Dive. Him and Anthea are sure to lay down some deep groves into the early hours of the morning.

James Priestley at The Horatia

Disgusted at the fact that T-Bar want to charge? Well there are new free options out there. New venture The Horatia have some solid nights lined up over the coming weeks. This Saturday James Priestley of Secretsundaze fame will be digging out his disco records and showing the masses that he’s not just about playing deep house outdoors with ironically tashed friends.

Superfreq 8^th Birthday at Centre Point (Buy Tickets)

Finally if you didn’t have enough of the birthday celebrations last weekend, then there’s one more for you. Those sycophantic slags Adultnapper and Mr C celebrate 8 years with original London tech houser Dave Mothersole. They’ll be wiggling their way until sunrise 31 floors up at the glamorous Centre Point.

When most people think of Easter they think the second coming of Christ, Easter eggs, fluffy bunnies and daffodils. For a select few it’s all about Easter weekend and how to run your mind into the ground for four days and nights. I’m in the latter camp.

This year the options seem to be bunched around key days. Thursday night has an all mighty clash. In one corner you’ve got your scenster nights. Secretsundaze do their annual thing at the coronet theatre which will see Ame, Dixon and Henrik Schwarz combine forces to create some ableton improve amalgamation live set where they be as one together. No its not some gay love in between the quartet, it’s actually their new project Critical Mass. The whole thing sounds pretty interesting, especially if its anything along the lines of their recent Granfather Paradox mix. After the live session, Dixon and Ame will be dropping a dj set or two along with the SS and Horse Meat Disco ressies.

However if Secretsundaze all sounds a bit too complex with the live sets and you just want to go and party your ass of to some party tunes, then maybe Disco Bloodbath is for you? They’re celebrating their 2nd birthday and to help them they’ve brought in their Scottish mentors Optimo who have been playing party tunes for countless years. Todd Terje will be headlining the main room for the Bloodbath along with the residents, whilst Optimo residents Twitch and Wilkes will be keeping a handle on things with Gucci Soundsystem.

If that all seems a bit to fashionista and you just want raw big room stuff, then you want to be heading towards Koko or matter. Old Coxy is doing a party at the former with Nic Fanciulli and Yousef, whilst Diggers is doing his Bedrock thang at the latter.

Something for everyone to kickstart the weekend. However Friday and Saturday look a bit thin on the ground for anything gripping. The best Friday can muster up is Brothers Vibe at East Village. Saturday fairs a little better with Reboot and Ketoloco at Lightbox in Vauxhall. Also Fabric is worth a punt with MANDY and Tobi Neumann. But other than that nothing that jumps out.

But its probably for the best as things get going early with the Bugged Out All Dayer at the Old Queens Head in Angel. I believe the party vibe is retro 80s! Once that’s warmed the old engine up, the place to head is Mulletover where they’ll be celebrating five whole years. At the Seager Storage Units as per usual, they’ll be seeing in their 5th Anniversary with those Romanian favourites a:rpia:r, reel to reel extraordinaire Greg Wilson, the strange but highly talented musicians Noze and disco/funk revivers Linkwood Family. DELUXE!

If things are still functioning you can round off the weekend with a trip to matter where old skool hip hop legends Jazzy Jeff and Grandmaster Flash will be cutting and juggling up prime hip hop before the days of diiirty britches and bling.

So go forth and celebrate the rebirth of Christ by hurling yourself head first into the gutter.

http://www.myspace.com/secretsundaze

http://www.myspace.com/discobloodbathdisco

http://www.mulletover.co.uk/

http://www.fabriclondon.com

http://www.matterlondon.com

]]> http://earpipe.com/2009/04/08/the-mother-of-all-weekends-is-upon-us/feed/ 0 http://earpipe.com/2008/12/17/earpipes-nye-guide/ http://earpipe.com/2008/12/17/earpipes-nye-guide/#comments Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:47:55 +0000 admin http://earpipe.com/?p=556

Since we’re halfway through December with Christmas right on our doorsteps I guess we should really cover what’s going down on New Years Eve. If you think you can bear the vomit laden streets and tourist clubbers who make it out for their annual party then read on. If not EarPipe recommends a house party or hired venue for you and your friends to get seriously pissed and whatever else you might want to do….

So what is the party to go to for us? Top of our list is Eastern Electrics. You may remember them from August Bank Holiday weekend, maybe for the wrong reasons. Here at Earpipe we had an OK night but it’s true it could have been organised better. But Eastern Electrics has assured us they’re one the case. So we’re definitely going to give it another shot because who could say no to some South London urban space. You may cry that its going to be cold. But fear not as you’ll be donning some kitsch 80s throw back tracksuit because as part of this year’s line-up Eastern Electrics have brought in Tayo and his legendary tracksuit party!! What better excuse to look 80s hip hop cool or more likely in our case Chuckle Brothers retro.

Tracksuits aside you may want to know what’s going on music wise. Well they’ve got three rooms in this warehouse location. The main room will have the formidable Mulletover who have brought in one half of MANDY Phillip Jung, they’ve also got Crosstown Rebeller Damien Lazarus, who might we add played an absolute stormer at the T-Bar closing parties, and to support these heavyweights they’ve got London faithfuls Geddes from Mulletover and Simon Morell form DDD. Tayo and Frank Tope take over room two with their tracksuit party canvassing support from ex Radioslaver Serge Santiago and to round things off those up and coming Man Make Music kids will be delivering the full spectrum of bass heavy dance music. So pretty fantastic if you ask me.

Tickets are still going at £20 from ticketweb here

And you might still be able to get some £16 ones from View London here

Not bad for New Years Eve!

But if bopping around a cold warehouse in a tracksuit doesn’t take your fancy then here are the next best…

Secretsundaze

Secretsundaze looks particularly good. They’ve taken Village Underground a rough and ready design space in the heart of Shoreditch. The location sounds fantastic and they’ve got a fantastic line-up too. Favourites from the year Omar S and Johnny D will be playing alongside Giles Smith and James Priestley. Expect nothing less than brilliant house music!

Get your tickets from here.

Horse Meat Disco

If you want something a bit off the wall then Horse Meat Disco might be right up your street. They’ve got plenty of delightful disco to see you through the night at Cargo and to give it that Studio 54 edge they’ve brought in show girl Johnny Woo of Gay Bingo fame.

Get your tickets from here.

Fabric

Now we move on to the big boys. Firstly Fabric has one big New Years Eve melting pot of styles. Its going to be a head on collision of Fabric vs Fabric Live. In room one they’ve got our Innervisions favourites Ame and Dixon along with Nottingham whipper snapper Matt Tolfrey. Of course the New Year wouldn’t be the same if the residents Craig Richards and Terry Francis weren’t present. Then over in room two they’ve got Yoda, Craze and the perverts. If you like hip hop and DnB there’s no point looking anywhere else.

Get your tickets from here

The End

The second big boy is The End. They do their final New Years Eve and who better to bring the club in to the New Year for the final time than the French master Laurent Garnier. All night the French wizard will do what he does best and that’s quality journeys through dance music. He’ll get a little support from Layo too and in the back room the most excellent Jimpster and Milton Jackson will have you buried deep in the ground with their deep deep stylings. Sure to be a fantastic party however you might be left a bit tearful not because it’s closing down but because of the ticket price.

Get your eye watering £40 tickets from here

Saturday sees a lude three-way orgy between Fabric, Matter and Secretsundaze. Firstly Fabric has their annual Digweed soirée joined by Lee Burridge and Radioslave which is sure to be prog-e-licious affair. Up the road at Kings Cross’ Scala, the Secretsundaze rabble once again takeover. They’re joined by Shindoe, 2000 and One and Kabale und Liebe in the main room whilst the residents Giles Smith and James Priestley hold fort in the back room with the excellent Brothers Vibe. Finally a Secretsundaze do wouldn’t be the same without a lick of disco, so the Disco Bloodbath boys take over room three. Again another great party to get too.

Last but not least we have Matter and quite possibly the first decent all round line-up they’ve put on since they’ve opened. The main reason for this is due to RA who is taking over for one night to throw their Christmas party with many of the fantastic DJs that have graced their podcast this year. You’ve got everything from the disco funk realm of Trus’me, the electronic techno and house stylings of DJ Koze and Modselektor and the dubby darkness of Appleblim and Shackleton. And that’s just the main room; out back you’ve also got Move D and the excellent Motor City Ensemble. What’s also good about this night is that you can get £8 tickets from RA. That’s £12 cheaper than your normal Matter night with a line-up that is more exciting than poking your knob in the VCR. The big question is, which party do you go to? Unfortunately I can’t answer that; well my answer would be to do all three.

So I present to you EarPipe’s Christmas Three Club Orgy. The map should help you get about and you should be able to squeeze in about 2.5 hours in each club. It may require a dedicated driver and a wheel barrow of cash too. But meh its Christmas… spoil yourself… Thank me later when you’ve got a stinking hangover the next day.

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